Great perspective on God not giving us more than we can handle.

Great article... http://natepyle.com/confronting-the-lie-god-wont-give-you-more-than-you-can-handle/

Confronting the lie: God won’t give you more than you can handle

March 11, 2013 — 869 Comments

The past three weeks have been the most difficult I have ever gone through.  These three weeks have been filled with illness, the terrible-three’s (the terrible-two’s are an out-and-out lie), a friend suffering the consequence of sin, a ministry I am a part of reeling in confusion and pain, having to cancel a trip to celebrate my parents 60th birthdays, and our family experiencing the emotional roller-coaster of finding out we were pregnant only to be told the pregnancy was ectopic and could be life-threatening to my wife if it was not ended.

Needless to say, I have had enough.

I know I am not alone.  As trying as the last three weeks have been for me, I know some people who have dealt with far more for far longer.  But that doesn’t change the fact that this has been painful for me and my wife.  In the face of all this, I can honestly say I feel no pressure to be the “pastor” and have the answer for this.  Honestly, even as a pastor, I have no answer for this.  My questions before God about the reality of what my family has experienced over the last three weeks are the exact same questions anyone would ask.

Why?
Why not step in?
Why not act?
Why wouldn’t you make it right?
Why couldn’t you part the clouds and provide a moment for us to catch our breath?
Why everything at once?
Why?

Not only am I okay asking those questions, but I think there is something holy and sacred in being courageous enough to ask them.  Don’t be fooled, those questions are only to be asked by the courageous.  It is easy to spout trite Christian platitudes designed to make people feel better with bumper-sticker theology.  But insipid axioms do little in the face of the actual brokenness of the world.  It is more courageous to ask the hard questions of God and wait for him to answer than it is to find hope on the side of coffee mug.  Asking those questions requires courage because, in the end, it is very likely they will not be answered.

Ultimately, it isn’t about the questions.  Behind the questions is a deep current of emotion threatening to overtake us.  But too often, when the fracture in the universe threatens to swallow us up in pain we fail to get fully present to our emotions.  In those moments I think we do one of two things.  Either we ask the questions but never investigate what emotion is driving those questions, or we resort to some banal Christian slogan to try and make us feel better.

This experience forced me to look at one such statement that gets spouted often when people go through a lot:  God won’t give you more than you can handle.  If I may be so bold, let’s just call that what it is:

Bullshit.

Tell that to a survivor of Auschwitz.
Tell it to the man who lost his wife and child in a car accident.
Tell it to the girl whose innocence was robbed from her.
Tell it to the person crushed under the weight of depression and anxiety.
Tell it to the kids who just learned their parent has a terminal illness.

Limp, anemic sentiments will not stand in the face of a world that is not as it should be.

Now that I have said how I feel, let me back up this argument with some actual Biblical evidence.  This particular statement, that “God won’t give you more than you can handle,” isn’t even in the Bible.  There is a statement that sounds like it.  1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humankind.  And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.”  But notice that verse is about temptation.  That’s it.  You won’t be tempted beyond what you can stand up against.  This text is not saying that you will not experience more than you can bear.  That idea just isn’t Biblical.  If anything the exact opposite is true.  Look at this text.

For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers and sisters, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead (2 Cor 1:8,9, emphasis mine).

Later, Paul will write it is when he is weak that the strength of Christ is seen.  In other words, when we can’t do it any longer.  When we are fed up.  When it has become too much.  When we have nothing left.  When we are empty.  When it is beyond our capability to deal with it.  Then, in that moment, the strength of the God of resurrection will be seen.  Until we get to that point, we rely on ourselves thinking we can handle it and take care of the problem.

Don’t hear me saying I am rejoicing because of the last couple of weeks.  I am not.  Not once have I danced around our house shouting, “Yeah suffering!”  Instead, in the midst of pain and hurt, I am actively expecting God to do something.  I don’t know what.  I don’t know when.  But I am expecting the God of resurrection to heal us.  I am expecting God to restore us.  I am expecting him to redeem this situation.  I am expecting him to do this and so I will be actively looking and waiting for him to do something.  I believe expectant waiting can only happen when we exchange our feeble platitudes for an authentic faith that engages God with the full brunt of our emotion and pain.  Only then can salvation been seen.

But that exchange takes courage.

- See more at: http://natepyle.com/confronting-the-lie-god-wont-give-you-more-than-you-can-handle/#sthash.9XlWxzJI.dpuf

New Beginnings....

Yesterday I got my Initial California Teaching Certificate.  Prior to that, I had an expired Washington State teaching certificate that was sufficient to teach all 11 years at 3 different Christian schools.  I looked into getting my California credential about 10 years ago and the state at that time made it difficult and involved.  Since I did not "need" it at the time, I did not pursue it.  Fast forward to the present.  Mattie just started first grade this year and I thought it might be fun to substitute teach at her school.  Substituting is a perfect job for a mom because it is totally flexible and the hours perfectly correspond with a child's school day.  You go to school together and you go home together.  No planning, no grading, no extra work.  So I called the county education office last week to talk to them about getting my substitute certificate.  I explained my story and the woman on the other end of the phone says, "You know you can just get an initial teaching certificate, don't you?"  To which I replied, "Well, NO, I didn't!... You're kidding?"  Well, either California has come to its senses that other states can actually train and prepare people to be competent teachers or they have become so desperate for teachers that they have made it SUPER easy to get your credential even if your out of state one has expired.  All I needed was my college transcript and my credential.  Wow.  I will have to take a competency test, the CBEST, within a year.  No problem.  I hear it's pretty easy.  And then I will have 5 years to "CLEAR" my credential to keep it.  That will require coursework.  I'll cross that bridge later.  Last week, I got fingerprinted and ordered my transcript.  It arrived this week and yesterday I went to the office of education and in 10 minutes, I walked out with a credential.  Amazing.  I was actually feeling very excited about this.  I do love teaching and the thought of getting back in the classroom does excite me.  It will be good get to know students and teachers at Mattie's school.  It will be good for my self-esteem to get back to doing what I am gifted to do.  It is always what I thought I might do "eventually."  However, I was hoping to get to raise more children first.  This is always in the back of my mind and in the depths of my heart.  It won't seem to go away.  However, Bob and I have pretty much decided that more children probably aren't in the cards for us.  The risks are high and we've been through the war.  Bob is more war-scarred than I am, I think.  My drive to have more children will never leave me.  I am sometimes an optimist to a fault.  It think if I believe everything will turn out okay, it will... and it often does.  But as we've experienced, it doesn't always turn out okay.  And sometimes, it can be downright crappy.  Sigh.  But I am really working to embrace our new future together as a family of THREE.  I'm trying to be appreciative for the life we have.  There is certainly a lot to be thankful for.  I think part of me is even a little scared to embrace this new future because in doing so, it means I have come to accept that I won't have any more children.

So here's to new beginnings... ready or not.

Cheap thrills...

I know I should be blogging about deep philosophical topics... but there are certain things that make me feel great and I just want to write about them.  One thing that is in my top 10 of making me excited is a GOOD DEAL!  I love finding something great and paying very little for it.  This also spills over into food.  I love making a super yummy meal for really cheap that would cost a lot in a restaurant.  Tonight... we had broiled tilapia that was marinated in lime and cilantro with a mango/avacado/tomato/red pepper/lime salsa and corn on the cob.  I estimate that I fed my family of 3 with that meal tonight for less than $7... that's not per person... that's TOTAL.  Ahhh... that makes me happy.  It was good and it was healthy and it was CHEAP!  Woo hoo! 

A fun week in Seattle

Mattie and I just got back from 8 fun days visiting my parents as well as my brother in Seattle.   It was generally a mellow week, just what I needed.  I realized that it had been a year and a half since I'd been home.  I think that is my lifetime record.  I usually visit at least twice a year.  Bob ended up not coming up for any of the trip this time.  He was able to go backpacking with his friend Chris near Yosemite the first weekend we were gone.  I was very happy for him to get that opportunity.  He needs to be in the mountains regularly and I'm glad it worked out for him to go.  Much of our week was spent shopping.  Seattle has tons of awesome 2nd hand stores.  There is a kid's consignment store I particularly love and I even discovered a new one.  My brother's fiance, Heidi, introduced me to a terrific 2nd hand store for women's clothes and I picked up a few really fun things for myself.  But generally, my focus is loading up on clothes for Mattie.  I always buy for the next size up.  This trip I was focusing on finding clothes and shoes for the next school year.  Another store I love is Fred Meyer.  They have great quality kids' clothes and cheap prices.  I wish we had Fred Meyer down here.   Other than a couple of pairs of shoes I bought, I didn't spend more than $6 on any one item for Mattie (most were $4 or $5) and no more than $8 on any item I bought for myself.  Now that's awesome!  I'm one of those crazies that gets a cheap thrill off of a great deal.  I think I like certain clothing items even better because I spent less on it.  Of course, my downfall is that because I save so much, I tend to buy more quantity.  I'm working on that.  After my trip up there, I think I'm going make a more concerted effort to hunt down the best Good-Wills here, since there are hardly any consignment or 2nd hand stores around here.

In addition to shopping, I got to spend some good time with family.  My mom had some long-time family friends, the Madsens, over for dinner along with my brother, Heidi, and her daughter, Sophia.  Dick Madsen was Branden's Bible study leader for like 6 years or something crazy like that when Branden was in jr. high and high school.  The Madsens are all too familiar with pain and loss.  Dick has been fighting leukemia for over 10 years.  He is a walking miracle!  Their son, Rick, died of the same leukemia his dad has 10 years ago.  He was in his early 20s.  Jeanie's 1st husband and daughter were killed in a car accident leaving Jeanie and her son Paul over 30 years ago.  Then the Madsen's adopted daughter almost got killed in a head-on car accident 10 years ago or so.  They have been dished a way too large of portion of pain, loss, and tragedy in their lives.  It was really good to spend time with them.  It had been a long time.  Later that week I got to spend an hour or two just with Jeanie for coffee and muffins at her house.  It was nice to talk to her, to talk to someone who understands loss personally.  Jeanie is passionate about grief counseling (for good reasons!) She gave me a good book that talks about ways to help children grieve.  It has many good ideas. 

There is more to write... but no more time to write it. 

1st Post...

This is my first post.  It feels very much like starting a major "term" paper or something... I don't know where to begin.  So I thought I would just start by saying just that.  This is a blog just for me.  I have a blog for Mattie, my 4 1/2 year old, and a blog for my sweet Julia, who now waits for me in Heaven.  But I desired a space for me.  A place to process the ups and downs of life.  A place to vent.  A place to question.  A place to seek God.  My life growing up and even past college was pretty easy and uneventful.  However, life has definitely been different in many ways than I would have expected since then.  This includes both unexpected joys and well as unexpected grief and trials.  I can say, however, through every mountain and every valley, God has been at my side.  And though I would like to be spared pain, it is in every painful place where God has met me head on and carried me to deeper places.  Romans 8:28 ^"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  That does not mean for one millisecond that God spares us pain!  It means that God can take all the crap in our life, all the things life throws us, all the bad choices we make, and He can use that stuff not only for our good but for the good of His Eternal plan.  The bigger pictures.  And sometimes our "good" is not roses and rainbows.  God cares about a deeper relationship with us more than anything.  So if life throws us pain, He will use it to draw us to Him in a deeper way and maybe even reach others.  And that is good.  


Well, it's time to spend some time with my husband.  Until next time...